Before I get going, a quick reminder that my new book I Am With You: Words of comfort & strength for difficult times is available to buy now!
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Get all the info on I Am With You HERE.
Today I’m sharing with you some thoughts on the very human need to feel held + a guided practice to help you fulfil that need.
You can listen to me reading this piece here (the guided practice starts at 3mins 31secs):
I think that each of us humans has a fundamental set of emotional needs.
And they are: to feel held; to feel wanted and valued; to feel safe; to feel seen; and to feel loved.
I wonder if these needs are at the root of all our longings.
I wonder whether all our searching, all our efforts to feel complete, and all our erratic and needy behaviours could be satiated by feeling held and safe again, perhaps as we did in our mother’s womb.
And this is especially vital for those of us who grew up without being able to develop a secure attachment (i.e. emotional bond) to our parents or carers – this is reckoned to be about 50% of the population (at least).
For us, this need to be safe, loved, valued and seen can feel like a searingly intense search for home.
And then maybe, at a spiritual level, we have a deep yearning to be reunited with the cosmos, with God or Goddess, with the Oneness.
Perhaps we long to feel part of the unity from which we came…
Whatever the motivation, there is something powerfully therapeutic about feeling held – it’s as if your entire nervous system relaxes and you finally feel safe.
Yes, being physically held by a loved one may achieve this.
But there’s a deeper level of holding that perhaps we also yearn for: that of being held by a force greater than ourselves.
A spiritual holding that is unconditional and will never leave us.
I feel that holding from the Great Mother - which is what I call the spiritual presence who is there through life’s cycles of birth, growth, death and rebirth.
You might also call Her Mother Earth.
And if I get very quiet and still I can hear Her whisper to me…
She Whispers
You too need to be held, my love.
To be seen.
To be heard.
To be mothered.
I will hold you.
I will see you and I will hear you.
I know your magic and your power.
So come home to Me, the Mother Divine.
I am in your heart.
My arms are open and waiting for you…
To hold you.
To welcome you home.
A guided practice to feel held
If this calls to you then try this soulful practice. (Listen to this in the recording above.)
Sit comfortably or maybe even lie down if you prefer…
Feel into the bed, floor or chair beneath you… And let yourself be held…
Scan through your body from head to toe and invite each area to release, to soften…
Your jaw, your eyes, your forehead, the back of your head… Softening, releasing…
Your neck, your shoulders, your arms and hands… Any tension melting away…
Your back… Your chest… Your belly… Releasing, relaxing…
Your hips and pelvis… Your legs … and your feet… Softening, releasing, relaxing…
Breathe out and enjoy the sensation of the release of physical tension and the feeling of relaxation that each out-breath can bring…
Sense the earth beneath you… Strong, stable, nurturing… Holding you… There’s nothing else you need to do…
Just rest … and be held by the loving presence of Mother Earth...
You might gently call to your mind’s eye a figure holding you now … someone or something that represents nurture and safety to you… And they gaze into your eyes with unconditional love…
Breathe… And receive this holding and love…
And let any feelings of safety and the sense of being held sink into every cell of your being … as you sink into the felt sense of being held.
You are safe here.
You can relax.
Until next time, wishing you the healing blessings of tender & fierce self-compassion,
Stella x
This piece is adapted from my book I Am With You which is out now worldwide in paperback and ebook.
Buy / read reviews / download a free sample HERE.
✍️Join me in the comments, below
Does the concept of being held by something greater resonate with you?
How do you tap into a feeling of being held by such a source?
If you’ve tried the holding practice from this piece, how did it feel?
Let’s chat. When we share our experiences we help both ourselves and each other feel less alone.